The longing for peace and desire of knowing many unknown which was fired by an emotional explosion has yield to a rarely seen spiritual state that is far beyond an experience of individuality.
It was the beginning of whole new life. On 17th of January ‘I’ stepped out of my body and still living in and out of it. That day I was not only out of my body but I was also in the eyes of God. That morning with the effect of the emotional events prior to this event I woke up at my bed which was in front of a big mirror and started to see my body from out of it. It was not mere seeing myself out of my body but it was to be in and out of my body, without any division.
On the other hand this perception was giving me the feeling of that I was definitely new to this body. I remember myself investigating my arms and legs like they are recently dressed up clothes.
They were so fresh, new and I was feeling them for the first time in my life. . I had an enormous energy, together with a crystal clear perception grasping every movement that was passing through.
The whole perception was all around, it was not in my had or not in the relevant memory of my brain. It was just happening all over the place.
It was just being. When attention was on my body there was a body and that was all. It does not belong to ‘me’. Because there was no perception of a limited body or a limited consciousness that can possess the thoughts or things.
My once limited consciousness was expanded to the whole of the existence and there were no separate me. It was not just me but there was nothing around me including tangible entity. It was a sea of being and there were no solid and separate entity from each other. On the contrary everything was connected and moving smoothly and calmly in and out of each other with ultimately solid relations. Any single thing at the point that I was standing had a clear and close relation with anything that is on the other side of the world or universe. The filters of distance and time perception were not working. Everything was simplified to single plane and then to a single thing. Simply everything is one! It was infinitely wide and operating in a sophisticated yet simple ocean of connections. Everything melted down to the ocean of drops and dots that could take any shape, sound or vision .And I was that infinite ocean: Oneness.
For seven days I did not eat drink or gone to toilet. I, which could not be said I anymore was living at a witness state. There was a total serenity and I can say it was definitely not mere happiness. Because happiness was taking place in body section so the serenity. It was just watching the ocean of things -peacefully- while the body was responding this state with total security and calmness.
The things those I pay attention were simply unfolding their integrity. I either perceived the clear meaning of things and relations in front of me like the pieces of a puzzle or they were not causing any disturbance with any conflict. Everything including the books that I started to read to the relations between people, was simply interacting each other to present their meaning.
Unfortunately, I later understood that witnessing the world and existence from the eyes of God was a trailer or introduction to the station that is going to be at the end of the road of evolution. Furthermore I discovered that this is the inevitable law that we are all living under from all the research I made on spirituality esoteric and scientific fields in years.
I was born in to a life that everything was unfolding their meaning in oneness, from a life that I had no prior idea regarding spirituality other than the mainstream traditional religions that has been practiced by the society.
At the end of 7 days, because I had no idea what was happening to me at those days, my brain and old belief system has brought me down to the world of my physical body by convincing me to eat although I did not feel any need for it. I was still living in an incredible energy state having all the clarity and peace but it was like my consciousness had shrunk a little to lower state then oneness. Within those 7 days I have already decided to study psychology and philosophy while I was directing an importation company. I was so clear of what I am what I really want to do for the rest of my life that I could easily think and visualize the right path for myself. For the first time in my life I breath and happy for what I am and what I was going to do.
I have lost 30 kg the following months my physical body, my life philosophy, interests and plans have totaly changed. It was more like a metamorphosis then a simple change.
Looking back at that time although the whole process was triggered by an emotional hit on the wall, the tension was created by an accumulation of a half-life time questions and longing for peace. Following the days of enlightenment I was feeling like I was in the middle of a scenario that is unfolding its scenes one by one. In couple of months’ time the people whom I know very well would not be able to recognize me on the street. My days were passing by reading 8 hours a day. I had developed interests to the subjects and reading and research like never been before. I was reading books and history of psychology, philosophy, esoteric and mystic disciplines. Also I was reading books physics, cosmology, neurology and anthropology. I was like swallowing every book that I could find about tangible and intangible universe trying to find and name what I was going through and also the answers of all the questions those have been searched consciously and unconsciously for a life time. The more I find answers the more I thirsty for signs, bits and pieces of information that I can now relate and integrate by my experience. I was like happy speedy puzzle maker figuring and solving out all the uncertainty, pain, conflict and questions of my and life around me. My childhood, my experiences, my parents, their parents and reason of behaviors the society the reason of thoughts behaviors and how do they shape one’s life and how all life is shaped in obvious interaction of all the dynamics of culture, nature, society, belief systems and how all these materialize themselves for the sake of evolution and so on.
My brain was working with an enormous speed sleeping just few hours.
In the beginning the whole process was exploring the causality beneath the surface which was leading to simultaneous passion and love for everyone and everything. It was now to accept everything rationally which I had experienced the big integral picture first hand. It was like by the elevation from the surface of the sea and then surrendering the dynamics of undersurface that once I was living with the conflicts and resistance. I was being a channel to the meaning of life and simultaneously I my consciousness rising to the level of oneness at those times. This longed more than 2.5 years. Which I call bright after light. They were awesome unification moments with existence and seeing that whole world and universe around us is alive and saluting you for your recognition. We, living and nonliving things, are one perfect united family that constitutes this existence with a mass of laws those work together to present this final perception. And all this perception happens with a gradual evolution in individual scale.
Following months I closed out my business that I have been doing for the last 10 years, decided to study psychology, philosophy and cybernetics after the age of 30. This happened in a very short time while all the indefiniteness was lifted a way, leaving a clear sight for what to do in my life. I wanted to guide people to the last station of the evolution that we were destined to.
It was like exploring the language, laws and patterns of existence that I started to decode. It was exciting yet it was more challenging.
I went to a psychologist for 2 years’ time but never find an opportunity to discuss an experience of this scale. It was seldom seen and known at western cultures and science while it has deeper background in Middle Eastern and far eastern cultures and traditions. So I was getting excited when I read and learn about the same experiences in books and feel relieved that it was real and has same exact examples. Only then I recalled my mother’s Sufi classes and teachers those were coming to our home during my childhood. Only after my research and conscious talks with my mother I discovered that were in fact my her approach at certain situations and milestones of my growth was depicting a typical Sufi approach. Today I can say Sufism is the science of Islam and it is totally connected to our physical daily life. In this and other authentic traditions there are no dogmatic approaches; on the contrary the explanations are simple and rational. It is like learning the tricks of the art of illusion or mainstream religions to say.
So because I was afraid of being misunderstood by psychologists I was trying to find the answers by my own research, courses, and seminars on self and spiritual development. By learning about people those have gone through the same state I was at least relieved.
Once you step out your body and be in oneness there is no going back. Life will not be same once you ‘be’ in this state. So was mine. If you are thrown to this state without any prior information by excess energy those were generated from emotional experiences you will have no idea what you were going through. The curiosity of going back only rises when you started to fall back from this state. And that is the whole point! To create the tension to return to home of peace or heaven and to find the path and guide back.
To stay at this state needs a perfect energy level without any gaps at your integral existence.
I was not fulfilling these needs so I could not sit at the divine throne. This was like a tire or a balloon that is pumped up with a powerful pressure which then looses this air because of the holes those were awaiting to be repaired.
You are aware of your falling down but there is nothing to do for that moment. You have to work on your holes. And these holes have levels. Your balloon is losing air and the balloon is scaling down according to the amount of air inside it. Here I can tell the air is consciousness and once you expand out of the plastic borders you get unified with the surrounding universe.
But once you shrink back in to your borders you again started depend on the limitations of the border that is surrounding you. With a difference: ‘The memory of unification’.
Now the air knows where to go and although the fall back is quick you know the path!
My 10 years have passed with research, guidance, coaching, writing and working on decoding this path back to the unification or oneness. As I told above our holes are coming from different levels. They are our beliefs, misinterpretations, solid perceptional delusions and of cource behaviors that constitutes this limited state.
Along the way I have decoded that all of the above and more belong to different levels of consciousness and can be worked on simultaneously. Although I have experienced that everything is consciousness and there is nothing else I can say that there are seven different levels of consciousness that can be categorized to work on for. It is one but it has seven different frequencies like the colors in white or instruments in an orchestra. 7th level is the music. It is togetherness of all 6 instruments. While these instruments needs accord and balance with respect to each other and perform the written notes in order to create the music.
If you learn each instrument you can play and adjust it to the orchestra of 6. So our destiny is to work on our evolution that is to accord and balance all these 6 levels through our life times and pass the evolved content to our next generation.
